Stefanie Davis
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To the Class of 2019

8/4/2019

4 Comments

 
Friday I accidentally sent an assignment reminder to AP Research 2019. That shouldn't have happened, but I haven't been able to bring myself to archive y'all yet, 2019. There was a lot special about you, but perhaps none more important and hopeful than this: you invested for even more than 180 days last school year. You lived every moment of your high school career. You didn't disengage. You ran through the finish line more completely than any class I have ever seen before. You never pulled away and, because of that, I - unlike any other time in my career - just kinda wanted to keep you.

But I don't get to. Actually, I don't REALLY want to. I want you to go out there and be your awesome, involved and committed selves and change the world a bit. I know you will, and I can't wait to see it.

This is the annual list of advice tidbits I offer as you prepare for and jump into the next chapter.

Before I start, I understand that this is very college-centric. For those of you going to the military or work, many of the same ideas hold. Just adapt the scenario. Some of this is from years past. Some are things that you have inspired. Anyway, here goes:

  1. Take pictures. Lots of them. This has never been easier than it is now, but there are never enough when the years are gone. And make sure you are IN them! Pictures are all I have left of my college roommate now. They are treasure.
  2. New addition based on current Davis pet peeve: Make sure that the majority of those photos are NOT FILTERED. Be your REAL self, even when curating photos. Do you really want to look back in 20 years and have no honest recollection of what everyone looked like because they were cuter with anime eyes and bunny ears? Seriously....your future kids will think you were loony.
  3. Write down stupid stuff people say. We had a quote book. I don't remember where 99% of the quotes came from now, but "Crotch muffins!" is still funny and we still know who “Breast of Chicken” is!
  4. This one will not be your favorite, but it needs to be said. Let yourself leave PMHS behind. In this age of texts, Instagram, Twitter, etc., I have seen an unfathomable increase in the number of college students who completely waste their college years by refusing to move on from high school. The end result is that - four years later - they may be 4 years older, but they are seldom 4 years more mature. Yes, I know that what you know is comfortable. Yes, I understand that you have known him/her/them for your whole life. I totally get that you don't want to lose them. So what? Life is about moving on from time to time, and this is one of those. There are SO MANY amazing people at your next stop, and you will regret not getting to know them if you keep yourself buried in the past. You can't see where you can go if you are always looking backwards. Invest in the next chapter as much as you invested in PMHS. It's worth it.
  5. Branching off of that, remember this: Comfort is the enemy of growth. If you are comfortable, you aren’t doing it right. Get out of your comfort zone, change yourself, and change the world.
  6. For some of you - those who have transplanted yourself - that part is already underway. You have to fight harder for that if you go to a campus with many of your Falcon friends. You don’t have to ditch them, but get involved in something that will allow you to meet others as well. College is not PMHS Grades 13-16, so don’t treat it as such.
  7. People change. Your BFF you are rooming with? Yeah. You’ll both change. It is okay. Don’t become a jerk just to not be old you. Don’t turn away from what you believe in the name of novelty. But don’t refuse to grow and adapt. That is normal. Don’t judge yourself or others too harshly for changing after a bit of time in charge of yourself.
  8. Don’t fall into “high school sucked” bitterness. You have been "not a high school student" for what? 8 weeks? The next chapter of your life will only be better if YOU become better. I did. What will you do to make that happen? Yep, there is still more to learn!
  9. Understand the "Three Day Rule." You will be eager to go home this fall. Thanksgiving will be great. It will make you even more eager for Christmas...but that is because you won't have all four days at home for Thanksgiving. In short months you will get used to running your own life and your parents (won't admit this, but they) will get used to you not being there. It will be great for the 3.5 days you are home for Thanksgiving. God help you when it comes to Christmas. When you are ready to kill them, stop to count. It will be the 4th day. Learn to grit your teeth through the 4th day, and it will get better.
  10. Speaking of vacations, when you come home please realize that “home” has kept moving, too. We love seeing you when you come home for that concert or Homecoming or whatever. But we haven’t been waiting at a standstill for that moment. The first year back will be fun for you. The second will be weird because you will only know 50% of YOUR school…and who is that person in YOUR favorite teacher’s room….and what do we mean your teacher can't drop her prep period work during the busiest time of the year to chat…and...and… 
  11. Go through Greek recruitment. Greek life will be a great choice for a statistically significant number of you, and some of those will be people who thought not early on. I know. I was one of those. Now I’ve served as a national officer. Worst-case scenario: You go through recruitment and decide it is not for you. You get to meet a few cool people. Best-case scenario: You go through recruitment and find those few people who will still be around years...decades later. Greek life is not for everyone, but how are you going to know unless you try? It was the best decision of my entire life, and 25+ years later (YIKES!) I am still reaping the benefits.
  12. Find your home. Greek or not, everyone needs SOMETHING to be involved in. You can successfully join multiple organizations on a college campus, but you most likely can only lead well in one or two. Some of you will have a HUGE problem accepting that. It is far better to make a key contribution to one area than you show up to many. Find your home. Make a significant contribution to the campus. Leave each stop in life better than you found it.
  13. Stay on campus on the weekends. That is where college becomes home. A lot of stuff happens on the weekends and the story isn’t awesome unless you were there.
  14. Leave the letter jacket at home. It takes up a lot of packing room and will brand you immediately. Same thing for the class ring (which you will likely soon be realizing was a MONUMENTAL waste of money).
  15. On that note, realize that everyone else has a letter jacket, too. You may have been top dog at high school, but so was everyone else at your college. That's how you all got in. The bar just got raised. You have to work harder to succeed. That is great! Embrace it!
  16. Avoid the first day competitive crap. Some of you have already noted that orientation was full of people comparing schools and experiences and GPAs. That will end soon enough. The mature folks won’t even start.
  17. Go to class. That should be a given, but it often isn't. You have to go. You are the sole person responsible for you now. No one is there to make you go. You have to do that on your own. Plus, each class is like $80+ worth of education. Don't waste it!
  18. Do NOT have your mommy call people for you. You are 18, first of all. You have confidentiality rights. Your professors cannot legally talk about your progress with them. The Dean can't talk about your behavior. Student Services can't tell them why you weren't selected for an organization. And…really...it's time to grow up. Handle your own stuff.
  19. On the other hand, it’s okay that your parents get really sad on move-in. Let them be a little crazy. That will be you in 20something years. Everyone else’s parents are nuts, too. That’s because their love and support got you there. Give them an extra hug.
  20. You will not be graduating into the same world I did...or your older brother did...or the class of 2019 will be. You have to be on top of the heap in four years to get to the next step. A lot of smart folks are telling us that you will be filling jobs that don’t even exist yet. I read The World is Flat for grad school. He makes the case that the key to being able to secure steady work in a globalized world is being a Swiss Army Knife or a corkscrew. You need to be able to do a little bit of everything or be an expert at one thing. You are still learning how to learn, and that is key to your future. Fight hard in these next few years to make yourself the person who will have their choice of careers/grad schools/whatever. It is going to be scary out there. You will have to be an even stronger candidate in 4 years than those who went before you. Your mom loves you, but she will eventually want the basement back.
  21. Another branch: Be careful. Choices made when you are an adult have adult ramifications. Nothing you post online is REALLY private. Not every picture or thought has to be shared. Don't take pictures of anything you don't want your family or potential employers to see. Heck...just don't DO anything you don't want your family or potential employers to know about! Adults who break the law go to jail. Being you isn't a protective bubble. Everyone trips up. Not everyone swan dives off a cliff. Know the difference...and how to avoid a dive.
  22. Go NOWHERE alone. You are going to college in a world in which Brock Turner is out of jail. It sucks that you have to be this alert…but it is reality. It may be that I went to a tiny campus, but I was never anywhere that someone didn't offer to walk me home. Take advantage of that. Take advantage of school shuttles or taxis. Make friends with security staff (who are often VERY good at opening gallon jars of pickles). Colleges are FULL of resources to make sure that you are safe and cared for. Use them!
  23. Take care of yourself. About 25% of you, statistically speaking, are on some sort of “brain med” for depression, anxiety, etc. Do not take a vacation. Maintenance is important. In that 25% or not, if you get sick, get to the doctor. Living together means FAST transmission of the winter ickies. Don’t be the source of everyone else’s misery. Plus, it is REALLY hard to face an 8 am Early Brit Lit course if you have the crud.
  24. Vote. Find out how to do so absentee. Follow the steps. Double check your registration. Register if you haven’t. Check your polling location if you plan to vote in person. Elections are incredibly important. Don't get caught up in the transition and miss this opportunity.
  25. Embrace wider social circles. Yeah, there will be someone FREAKY a few doors down. What can you learn from that person? Sometimes the answer is how many air fresheners you can put in a hall before the reason becomes obvious. Sometimes the answer is where your limits are and how firmly placed they are. College is the ultimate social experiment. Take in every bit you can.
  26. Discover what else is going on around your campus. Some activities and opportunities will come naturally. Some you will have to look for. What other activities are there? What internships are available? Can you travel for credit? What can career services do for you? What about counseling services? It is all worth checking out.
  27. Take the oddball opportunities that come up. I went on a fan bus to the NAIA National Basketball Finals. I learned to steal...ahem...BORROW trays from the cafeteria to use as sleds in the park. I had a professor excuse me from class to pick back up a picket sign I had just put down in order to attend. I saw...a...GOAT...named...Elvis...in my...sorority letters (yeah, that one still gets me). I was the school mascot for a year. Weird stuff that would never happen anywhere else will present itself in college. Go with it.
  28. Become the ultimate fan of your next chapter. You were GREAT at this at PMHS. Commit to it at college. College athletic events are fun! Fundraisers are awesome! Go to plays and meetings and presentations and love ALL of it! You will never again be in a place that offers SO much explicitly for you within a few minutes of where you sleep…and mostly for free. Take it all in! When it comes down to it, just immerse yourself in the experience. You have to work incredibly hard for the degree and the learning and the growth that are to come. It is that challenge that allows you to grow more in your 20s than you have in over a decade. You should NOT be the same person in the spring of 2023. If you are, then you did something VERY wrong.

Embrace this opportunity, 2019. You have really been difference makers for us. I expect no less in your future. Know that you have a building full of cheerleaders eager to see you take what you've learned and grow even more.

And I promise I'll archive your Remind classes........sometime.....


Love ya!
Davis
4 Comments

To the Class of 2018

7/21/2018

4 Comments

 
It is tradition time, 2018. You were special because you marked the first time in my career that I taught a class exclusively composed of seniors. You know that the reputation your class had left something to be desired. I am still not sure we didn't just miss some key things about you. In some ways, you were better than most at some of the things we say we value, but maybe really don't. In that way, I was convicted by your class. You asked questions that will linger for me. Thank you. This letter is my annual attempt to offer some answers.​

Before I start, I understand that this is very college-centric. For those of you going to the military or work, many of the same ideas hold. Just adapt the scenario. Some of this is from years past. Some are things that you have inspired. Anyway, here goes:

With that, here is the annual list of suggestions. Some of these are still hard, but I am WAY better at #1....
  1. Take pictures. Lots of them. This has never been easier than it is now, but there are never enough when the years are gone. And make sure you are IN them! Pictures are all I have left of my college roommate now. They are treasure.
  2. Write down stupid stuff people say. We had a quote book. I don't remember where 99% of the quotes came from now, but "Crotch muffins!" is still funny and we still know who “Breast of Chicken” is!
  3. This one will not be your favorite, but it needs to be said. Let yourself leave PMHS behind. In this age of texts, Instagram, Twitter, etc., I have seen an unfathomable increase in the number of college students who completely waste their college years by refusing to move on from high school. The end result is that - four years later - they may be 4 years older, but they are seldom 4 years more mature. Yes, I know that what you know is comfortable. Yes, I understand that you have known him/her/them for your whole life. I totally get that you don't want to lose them. So what? Life is about moving on from time to time, and this is one of those. There are SO MANY amazing people at your next stop, and you will regret not getting to know them if you keep yourself buried in the past. You can't see where you can go if you are always looking backwards.
  4. Additionally, realize that the school will continue to grow and change, as well. Already some of you have had some things to say about that. With all love and gentility...drop it. You are a high school graduate, but the four years you spent there don't make you the final voice on the subject.
  5. Branching off of that, remember this: Comfort is the enemy of growth. If you are comfortable, you aren’t doing it right. Get out of your comfort zone, change yourself, and change the world.
  6. For some of you - those who have transplanted yourself - that part is already underway. You have to fight harder for that if you go to a campus with many of your Falcon friends. You don’t have to ditch them, but get involved in something that will allow you to meet others as well. College is not PMHS Grades 13-16, so don’t treat it as such.
  7. People change. Your BFF you are rooming with? Yeah. You’ll both change. It is okay. Don’t become a jerk just to not be old you. Don’t turn away from what you believe in the name of novelty. But don’t refuse to grow and adapt. That is normal. Don’t judge yourself or others too harshly for changing after a bit of time in charge of yourself.
  8. Don’t fall into “high school sucked” bitterness. I can say that high school pretty much DID suck for me. I have the benefit of comparing it to something else and reflecting on those years from some perspective. You have been "not a high school student" for what? 8 weeks? The next chapter of your life will only be better if YOU become better. I did. What will you do to make that happen? Yep, there is still more to learn!
  9. Understand the "Three Day Rule." You will be eager to go home this fall. Thanksgiving will be great. It will make you even more eager for Christmas...but that is because you won't have all four days at home for Thanksgiving. In short months you will get used to running your own life and your parents (won't admit this, but they) will get used to you not being there. It will be great for the 3.5 days you are home for Thanksgiving. God help you when it comes to Christmas. When you are ready to kill them, stop to count. It will be the 4th day. Learn to grit your teeth through the 4th day, and it will get better.
  10. Speaking of vacations, when you come home please realize that “home” has kept moving, too. We love seeing you when you come home for that concert or Homecoming or whatever. But we haven’t been waiting at a standstill for that moment. The first year back will be fun for you. The second will be weird because you will only know 50% of YOUR school…and who is that person in YOUR favorite teacher’s room….and what do we mean your teacher can't drop her prep period work during the busiest time of the year to chat…and...and… 
  11. Go through Greek recruitment. Greek life will be a great choice for a statistically significant number of you, and some of those will be people who thought not early on. I know. I was one of those. Now I’ve served as a national officer. Worst-case scenario: You go through recruitment and decide it is not for you. You get some free food and you meet a few cool people. Best-case scenario: You go through recruitment and find those few people who will still be around years...decades later. Greek life is not for everyone, but how are you going to know unless you try? It was the best decision of my entire life, and 25+ years later (YIKES!) I am still reaping the benefits.
  12. Find your home. Greek or not, everyone needs SOMETHING to be involved in. You can successfully join multiple organizations on a college campus, but you most likely can only lead well in one or two. Find your home. Make a significant contribution to the campus. Leave each stop in life better than you found it.
  13. Stay on campus on the weekends. That is where college becomes home. A lot of stuff happens on the weekends and the story isn’t awesome unless you were there.
  14. Leave the letter jacket at home. It takes up a lot of packing room and will brand you immediately. Same thing for the class ring (which you will likely soon be realizing was a MONUMENTAL waste of money).
  15. On that note, realize that everyone else has a letter jacket, too. You may have been top dog at high school, but so was everyone else at your college. That's how you all got in. The bar just got raised. You have to work harder to succeed. That is great! Embrace it!
  16. Avoid the first day competitive crap. Some of you have already noted that orientation was full of people comparing schools and experiences and GPAs. That will end soon enough. The mature folks won’t even start.
  17. Go to class. That should be a given, but it often isn't. You have to go. You are the sole person responsible for you now. No one is there to make you go. You have to do that on your own. Plus, each class is like $80+ worth of education. Don't waste it!
  18. Do NOT have your mommy call people for you. You are 18, first of all. You have confidentiality rights. Your professors cannot legally talk about your progress with them. The Dean can't talk about your behavior. Student Services can't tell them why you weren't selected for an organization. And…really...it's time to grow up. Handle your own stuff.
  19. On the other hand, it’s okay that your parents get really sad on move-in. Let them be a little crazy. That will be you in 20something years. Everyone else’s parents are nuts, too. That’s because their love and support got you there. Give them an extra hug.
  20. You will not be graduating into the same world I did...or your older brother did...or the class of 2017 will be. You have to be on top of the heap in four years to get to the next step. A lot of smart folks are telling us that you will be filling jobs that don’t even exist yet. I read The World is Flat last summer. He makes the case that the key to being able to secure steady work in a globalized world is being a Swiss Army Knife or a corkscrew. You need to be able to do a little bit of everything or be an expert at one thing. You are still learning how to learn, and that is key to your future. Fight hard in these next few years to make yourself the person who will have his choice of careers/grad schools/whatever. It is going to be scary out there. You will have to be an even stronger candidate in 4 years than those who went before you. Your mom loves you, but she will eventually want the basement back.
  21. Another branch: Be careful. Choices made when you are an adult have adult ramifications. Nothing you post online is REALLY private. Don't take pictures of anything you don't want your family or potential employers to see. Heck...just don't DO anything you don't want your family or potential employers to know about! Adults who break the law go to jail. Being you isn't a protective bubble. Everyone trips up. Not everyone swan dives off a cliff. Know the difference...and how to avoid a dive.
  22. Go NOWHERE alone. You are going to college in a world in which Brock Turner is out of jail. It sucks that you have to be this alert…but it is reality. It may be that I went to a tiny campus, but I was never anywhere that someone didn't offer to walk me home. Take advantage of that. Take advantage of school shuttles or taxis. Make friends with security staff (who are often VERY good at opening gallon jars of pickles). Colleges are FULL of resources to make sure that you are safe and cared for. Use them!
  23. Take care of yourself. About 25% of you, statistically speaking, are on some sort of “brain med” for depression, anxiety, etc. Do not take a vacation. Maintenance is important. In that 25% or not, if you get sick, get to the doctor. Living together means FAST transmission of the winter ickies. Don’t be the source of everyone else’s misery. Plus, it is REALLY hard to face an 8 am Early Brit Lit course if you have the crud.
  24. Vote. Find out how to do so absentee. Follow the steps. Double check your registration. Register if you haven’t. Check your polling location if you plan to vote in person. The 2018 elections are incredibly important. Don't get caught up in the transition and miss this opportunity.
  25. Embrace wider social circles. Yeah, there will be someone FREAKY a few doors down. What can you learn from that person? Sometimes the answer is how many stick-ups you can put in a hall before the reason becomes obvious. Sometimes the answer is where your limits are and how firmly placed they are. College is the ultimate social experiment. Take in every bit you can.
  26. Discover what else is going on around your campus. Some activities and opportunities will come naturally. Some you will have to look for. What other activities are there? What internships are available? Can you travel for credit? What can career services do for you? What about counseling services? It is all worth checking out.
  27. Take the oddball opportunities that come up. I went on a fan bus to the NAIA National Basketball Finals. I learned to steal...ahem...BORROW trays from the cafeteria to use as sleds in the park. I had a professor excuse me from class to pick back up a picket sign I had just put down in order to attend. I saw...a...GOAT...named...Elvis...in my...sorority letters (yeah, that one still gets me). I was the school mascot for a year. Weird stuff that would never happen anywhere else will present itself in college. Go with it.
  28. Become the ultimate fan of your next chapter. Commit to that at college. College athletic events are fun! Fundraisers are awesome! Go to plays and meetings and presentations and love ALL of it! You will never again be in a place that offers SO much explicitly for you within a few minutes of where you sleep…and mostly for free. Take it all in! When it comes down to it, just immerse yourself in the experience. Avoid the passive mindset. Now you are flatly expected to be an active participant in your life. You HAVE to get on board with that. It is worth it. Not everyone gets a trophy. Not everyone gets a degree. Not everyone gets the job. You have to work incredibly hard for it. It is that challenge that allows you to grow more in your 20s than you have in over a decade. You should NOT be the same person in the spring of 2022. If you are, then you did something VERY wrong.

Embrace this opportunity, 2018. You represent so much possibility. You, maybe more than any other class I've seen, understand the complexities and uncertainties that surround you. It isn't going to be easy, but you folks are worker bees. Keep at it. Decide who you will become and then chip away at the marble until you are art. (SO many metaphors!) I believe in you, and I cannot wait to see what's next!

Love ya!
Davis
4 Comments

    Stefanie Davis

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